Is he gone? OK. So Sunday I wanted to strangle that man I love. (By the way, if you are tuning in to read about unicorns and sewing and pink stuff, I'm sorry to dissapoint.) Now back to the story of wanting to kill my beloved. First off, (men cover your ears) I had a raging case of PMS. I was miserable to begin with so my tolerance for anything more frustrating than a Swedish massage and a bottle of wine was going to set me off. That being said, you will begin to understand and appreciate my homicidal rage that began to build a week ago.
MONDAY
My husband and I decided to make no plans for this weekend because we really needed to get caught up with house stuff. It had been weeks, maybe even months since we had a weekend that wasn't completely jam-packed with events, parties and commitments. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy getting together with friends and family as frequently as possible but my house has been neglected. It can't wait any longer, so I was happy my husband agreed with me on this. No plans this weekend. Period. [insert affirming head-nod here]
My husband and I decided to make no plans for this weekend because we really needed to get caught up with house stuff. It had been weeks, maybe even months since we had a weekend that wasn't completely jam-packed with events, parties and commitments. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy getting together with friends and family as frequently as possible but my house has been neglected. It can't wait any longer, so I was happy my husband agreed with me on this. No plans this weekend. Period. [insert affirming head-nod here]
TUESDAY
Oh no, we forgot about that big soccer game this Sunday. My husband did tell me a while ago that he would be going with his friends to watch the game. That's fine, no big deal I guess. I'll try to get as much done as possible while home alone with the kids. Let's hope they cooperate. (for the first time in their lives.)
Oh no, we forgot about that big soccer game this Sunday. My husband did tell me a while ago that he would be going with his friends to watch the game. That's fine, no big deal I guess. I'll try to get as much done as possible while home alone with the kids. Let's hope they cooperate. (for the first time in their lives.)
WEDNESDAY
Damn, I checked my son's soccer schedule and this is the weekend that he has a game on both Saturday AND Sunday! Well that figures. It's irritating but maybe it might be a nice break from all that cleaning. I just hope the hubby will still be home to help get everyone ready and to the game on time. I'm starting to stress out about Sunday and it's only Wednesday. Not a good sign of things to come.
Damn, I checked my son's soccer schedule and this is the weekend that he has a game on both Saturday AND Sunday! Well that figures. It's irritating but maybe it might be a nice break from all that cleaning. I just hope the hubby will still be home to help get everyone ready and to the game on time. I'm starting to stress out about Sunday and it's only Wednesday. Not a good sign of things to come.
THURSDAY
My husband's phone rings and as a matter of necessity, he took the call outside. My children don't allow for phone calls - they are so loud and demanding as it is, and they really amp it up when we get on the phone. Very annoying. When he returns inside, I'm then informed that "we" are going to babysit my nieces and nephew on Sunday - conveniently the same time that he will be out of the house watching the game. Now I don't mind watching them, I love them and my Sister-in-Law always watches my kids when I ask, so that's not the issue here at all. It just would have been nice if he asked me first considering he wouldn't even be home and that we had made a pact to not agree to anything this weekend. Needless to say, I was not too pleased with him at this point.
My husband's phone rings and as a matter of necessity, he took the call outside. My children don't allow for phone calls - they are so loud and demanding as it is, and they really amp it up when we get on the phone. Very annoying. When he returns inside, I'm then informed that "we" are going to babysit my nieces and nephew on Sunday - conveniently the same time that he will be out of the house watching the game. Now I don't mind watching them, I love them and my Sister-in-Law always watches my kids when I ask, so that's not the issue here at all. It just would have been nice if he asked me first considering he wouldn't even be home and that we had made a pact to not agree to anything this weekend. Needless to say, I was not too pleased with him at this point.
skip ahead to SUNDAY
Got up early and started tackling the housework. My husband did the laundry while I did the floors. Speaking of doing the floors, what is it with kids and animals that makes them magnetize to a floor being cleaned? The moment I put the broom to the floor, everyone flocked like the messiah was there. First the cats had to walk through, then my teenager suddenly awoke from his hibernation and right on schedule the little ones simultaneously stopped playing and ran into the living room to walk through the pile of dust I had just swept up. The parade continued the whole time I mopped, I just don't get it.
Anyway, before I knew it, it was 11 o'clock and my son's game was at 1. Better get a move on with this cleaning. Then my husband's phone rings...I hear him talking to someone and saying "yeah, come over around 4:30...". I tried to remain calm as my blood began to boil. Maybe he was referring to another day? NOPE. Trying my best to contain my fury, I barked out "who was that!?". He replied cheerfully, "Oh it was so-and-so, remember I told you they were coming over today?" Do I remember? No I sure DO NOT remember that! And you know how I know? Because I don't remember flipping out about it. I think I would have remembered that. I have nothing against these people coming over at all, it's just inviting them over when we A: agreed to not make plans, B: when you aren't even going to be home, C: when I will already have six kids in the house by myself, D: while trying to finish all the cleaning and laundry and E: when we have no food in the house to even feed ourselves. Nope, I don't remember agreeing to that. Sorry.
I stormed out of the room to take out my frustration by bleaching the sh!t out of the bathroom. I didn’t get it cleaned and me showered fast enough so my husband had to take my son and leave without me so the little guy could make it to his game on time. I got out of the shower as fast as I could and found my husband hadn't dressed my daughter, and my clothes were still in the wash. I found a shirt with a rip in it and put back on my "cleaning jeans". Got the baby ready and I'm about to dash out the door. Hopefully I can catch the second half of the game. Wait, what's that smell? Of course, of COURSE we have a stinky diaper on my way out the door!!! Take care of that and off we go. I'll be happy to catch the last 25 minutes at this point! The road to the soccer field is a single lane for about 5 miles at least. I had to get behind the slowest a-hole in the tri-state area. I'm missing the kid's game.
I follow this same van into the parking lot at the soccer field. We get most of the way in when they decide to stop in the middle of the lot and block anyone from passing. The passenger wanted to be dropped off, but I guess they had to finish their chat in the car first. She finally emerges and stops to take a nice sip of her coffee before gently closing the door. Next she takes a moment to adjust her outfit and then continues on to opening the sliding door. Come on lady!!! Move it!! At this point I'm yelling, throwing my hands up and hitting the steering wheel like a lunatic. Oblivious to anyone or anything else, she opens the side door, and takes her time putting the kid's shoes on now! Why not, there's not a line of cars stuck behind you! Kids finally out, she closes the door and I'm ready to gun it. Not so fast, now she casually strolls around to the back and rummages through to find her chair. Is she kidding me!!?? I'm flipping out at this point and she's completely OK with holding everyone up. Apparently she sees no urgency whatsoever. I hate this woman!
I missed the whole game with the exception of the last 5 minutes. Truth be told, I haven’t been able to watch a single game all season because my daughter uses this time to run onto the field, bolt into the woods, find all the dogs and pet them and try to steal other kids' juice boxes when they aren't looking. Oh well, at least I made it on time to help pack up and leave.
Got up early and started tackling the housework. My husband did the laundry while I did the floors. Speaking of doing the floors, what is it with kids and animals that makes them magnetize to a floor being cleaned? The moment I put the broom to the floor, everyone flocked like the messiah was there. First the cats had to walk through, then my teenager suddenly awoke from his hibernation and right on schedule the little ones simultaneously stopped playing and ran into the living room to walk through the pile of dust I had just swept up. The parade continued the whole time I mopped, I just don't get it.
Anyway, before I knew it, it was 11 o'clock and my son's game was at 1. Better get a move on with this cleaning. Then my husband's phone rings...I hear him talking to someone and saying "yeah, come over around 4:30...". I tried to remain calm as my blood began to boil. Maybe he was referring to another day? NOPE. Trying my best to contain my fury, I barked out "who was that!?". He replied cheerfully, "Oh it was so-and-so, remember I told you they were coming over today?" Do I remember? No I sure DO NOT remember that! And you know how I know? Because I don't remember flipping out about it. I think I would have remembered that. I have nothing against these people coming over at all, it's just inviting them over when we A: agreed to not make plans, B: when you aren't even going to be home, C: when I will already have six kids in the house by myself, D: while trying to finish all the cleaning and laundry and E: when we have no food in the house to even feed ourselves. Nope, I don't remember agreeing to that. Sorry.
I stormed out of the room to take out my frustration by bleaching the sh!t out of the bathroom. I didn’t get it cleaned and me showered fast enough so my husband had to take my son and leave without me so the little guy could make it to his game on time. I got out of the shower as fast as I could and found my husband hadn't dressed my daughter, and my clothes were still in the wash. I found a shirt with a rip in it and put back on my "cleaning jeans". Got the baby ready and I'm about to dash out the door. Hopefully I can catch the second half of the game. Wait, what's that smell? Of course, of COURSE we have a stinky diaper on my way out the door!!! Take care of that and off we go. I'll be happy to catch the last 25 minutes at this point! The road to the soccer field is a single lane for about 5 miles at least. I had to get behind the slowest a-hole in the tri-state area. I'm missing the kid's game.
I follow this same van into the parking lot at the soccer field. We get most of the way in when they decide to stop in the middle of the lot and block anyone from passing. The passenger wanted to be dropped off, but I guess they had to finish their chat in the car first. She finally emerges and stops to take a nice sip of her coffee before gently closing the door. Next she takes a moment to adjust her outfit and then continues on to opening the sliding door. Come on lady!!! Move it!! At this point I'm yelling, throwing my hands up and hitting the steering wheel like a lunatic. Oblivious to anyone or anything else, she opens the side door, and takes her time putting the kid's shoes on now! Why not, there's not a line of cars stuck behind you! Kids finally out, she closes the door and I'm ready to gun it. Not so fast, now she casually strolls around to the back and rummages through to find her chair. Is she kidding me!!?? I'm flipping out at this point and she's completely OK with holding everyone up. Apparently she sees no urgency whatsoever. I hate this woman!
I missed the whole game with the exception of the last 5 minutes. Truth be told, I haven’t been able to watch a single game all season because my daughter uses this time to run onto the field, bolt into the woods, find all the dogs and pet them and try to steal other kids' juice boxes when they aren't looking. Oh well, at least I made it on time to help pack up and leave.
As we walk from the field to our van, my son is getting more and more excited about us going to Yogurt Land. Problem is, we aren't going to Yogurt Land. No, instead today we are going food shopping! Needless to say, he was not thrilled. My husband headed off for his game so I had to
take both kids to the food store with me, and it was a nightmare. They wanted everything, my son was running around and not listening to me and my daughter was pulling things off the shelves and screaming the whole time. And I mean that literally - as in actually just screaming, not crying. Even worse was that within one minute of
walking in, my son had to pee. I had to make him hold it, there was
nothing I could do! He almost peed his pants, but I raced through the store and rushed home as fast as I could. By now, an hour has
passed since he first complained that he had to go, poor kid.
We pull up to the house and I let him out of the van first so he could run in and take care of his business. I assumed he was inside already when I opened the back door to the van and a bag falls out, dumping cherry tomatoes all over the ground. I look up to see my son with a very worried look on his face while doing the pee-pee dance and still struggling to open the front door. I try not to step on the tomatoes that are now rolling down the driveway as I dash to the porch to help him out. This triggers my daughter to start screaming because once again, she thinks I'm leaving her forever. I pick up the tomatoes, take my daughter out and carry the groceries inside. Once inside my son picks up the little container of tomatoes and again they go everywhere - all over my floors that I just cleaned.
At this point, I'm ready to just go into a fetal position and start crying. I can't take another ounce of aggravation, I just can't! Then a text message comes through my phone....
Husband: "I called and told them not to come" (proud to proclaim that he's handled the situation)
Me: "are....you...effing....KIDDING me?????????????????" (the rest kind of went blurry, I think I might have lost it at that point)
I had just gone through hell and back at the food store with these kids and now he tells me he cancelled??? I just spent the bill money buying fancy food to make a good first impression and you told them not to come!!??? I don't know that I've ever been so mad in my life. (that's a lie, but it had been a while). Oh, and the kids weren't coming over either. All of this torture had been for nothing.
*Disclaimer: Now that the searing rage has subsided, it's important to add that my husband is a wonderful, loving, caring, thoughtful man who would never do any of this on purpose. He's very well-intentioned and pulls his weight around the house. He just didn't realize what he was doing, so I don't hold it against him and he shouldn't be judged upon his actions on this day. Also, I love my nieces and nephew to pieces so I welcome them in my home always -even if I am having a bad day.
We pull up to the house and I let him out of the van first so he could run in and take care of his business. I assumed he was inside already when I opened the back door to the van and a bag falls out, dumping cherry tomatoes all over the ground. I look up to see my son with a very worried look on his face while doing the pee-pee dance and still struggling to open the front door. I try not to step on the tomatoes that are now rolling down the driveway as I dash to the porch to help him out. This triggers my daughter to start screaming because once again, she thinks I'm leaving her forever. I pick up the tomatoes, take my daughter out and carry the groceries inside. Once inside my son picks up the little container of tomatoes and again they go everywhere - all over my floors that I just cleaned.
At this point, I'm ready to just go into a fetal position and start crying. I can't take another ounce of aggravation, I just can't! Then a text message comes through my phone....
Husband: "I called and told them not to come" (proud to proclaim that he's handled the situation)
Me: "are....you...effing....KIDDING me?????????????????" (the rest kind of went blurry, I think I might have lost it at that point)
I had just gone through hell and back at the food store with these kids and now he tells me he cancelled??? I just spent the bill money buying fancy food to make a good first impression and you told them not to come!!??? I don't know that I've ever been so mad in my life. (that's a lie, but it had been a while). Oh, and the kids weren't coming over either. All of this torture had been for nothing.
*Disclaimer: Now that the searing rage has subsided, it's important to add that my husband is a wonderful, loving, caring, thoughtful man who would never do any of this on purpose. He's very well-intentioned and pulls his weight around the house. He just didn't realize what he was doing, so I don't hold it against him and he shouldn't be judged upon his actions on this day. Also, I love my nieces and nephew to pieces so I welcome them in my home always -even if I am having a bad day.
Ok so who is the jack off who cancelled last minute. Lol
ReplyDelete