FACT: Some of the most beautiful and magical moments in life happen mere seconds before a photo is taken.
In trying to back up my phone the other day (that's another issue in itself) I realized that I now have nearly five thousand pictures uploaded. Literally. I've taken way more pictures in the last year than I have in the entire span of time from the early 80s right up to the big Y2K. With technological advances such as the unification of the cell phone and the digital camera, most of us have our camera readily available if not already in our hands when those rare moments bloom from the normal monotony. Today it's easier than ever to capture those "Kodak moments". Well, let me rephrase, it's easier than ever to attempt to capture those Kodak moments.
I would say of nearly five thousand photos, only about 150-200 of them are worthy of framing. And that is a very optimistic estimate. Anyone who has taken pictures of children or animals surely can relate to this situation. Unless you have a professional camera that can snap the picture a split-second before your mind registers that it's gonna be a good one, then you too have suffered this same fate. As much as I love the convenience of having my camera built right in to my phone, the delay from when I press that red dot to when the photo is actually snapped is maddening. I could have stopped for a sandwich and got my eyebrows waxed in the time it takes for the darn thing to actually snap the picture.
To further complicate the matter, my kids are very uncooperative the moment they realize I'm trying to take a picture. I will admit that at times I can be addicted to my phone, so I don't even know how they know that my game of "Draw Something" has stopped to capture a precious moment. But time after time they sabotage any attempt of mine to capture a beautiful image of their childhood. No matter how engulfed they are in whatever it is they are doing, the moment I decide I would like to take a picture, the entire scene changes. My son will immediately start making faces and flailing around like a fool. (even more so than normal). My daughter will intentionally stop doing whatever she was doing and refuse to even look at me. She also throws in the head-whip. Of the nearly 5,000 pictures, I would estimate that close to a thousand of those are of the blurred back of her head. As stealthy as I try to be, she always whips herself around at that crucial moment.
Now on the contrary, any time anyone snaps a photo of me, it's always exactly the perfect moment. It's exactly when I've just gone in for a bite of cake. It's always just when I was laughing with my head pushed back and a vein popping out of my head. It's always in the absolute most UN-flattering position. If I had as much luck capturing photos of my kids the way the camera captures my every embarrassing move, I could easily retire on my earnings as the World's most talented photographer.
The fact remains though, that I do not have good luck capturing photos. Instead, I have numerous pictures of cats dashing through the pose. I have tons of pictures of babies in a semi-tipped over positions. I have countless pictures of hair being pulled, someone crying, eyes being poked, puke being spewed, dogs showing teeth, punches being thrown, sneezes and the snot to go with it, someone half-fallen off a chair, millions of turned heads and someone picking their ass in the background. Most people would have deleted these right away, but take my word for it and keep them. When you look back at them later, you will find that they are pretty funny. Bonus: if you take enough shots in a close enough succession, often times they will make a pictorial story when you review them in order.
I guess it's my fault for trying to create this false image of how sweet and tranquil everything was in their childhood. Sure, they have their precious moments that stop me in my tracks, but just as much - if not more often - they have these crazy scenes and situations and that is just real life. I'm thankful to have caught those. Looking back at them, I completely forget the frustration of trying to get a great moment and instead just laugh. It swells my heart with pride to know I've passed on the "ridiculous gene" to my children. It can be a curse at times, but for the most part it's a blessing to have a life that provides for it's own hilarious entertainment without even trying.
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